Scroll

By Frank M. Taylor

You have a new meeting on your calendar today for 9:00am. Your manager wants to discuss quarterly performance.

As you read the message, wind swishes a thick curtain of clouds open to permit a single ray of sunshine to warm your back. The clear roof of the bus stop magnifies the effects. It is a flash of comfort in a dreadfully gray season insisting itself upon a dreary faded road.

Two young crows return to the corpse of some mangled roadkill as you lock the phone and put it away. The days when a smart phone provided entertainment have long passed; it’s just another tether to a digital and disconnected world of meaningless dread. Why scroll endlessly in a virtual world when the ends of a real world will eventually find their way to you?

The crows fly off just when your phone once more demands your attention. Cars pass each other as you briefly ponder stepping out of the bus stop and into the street — not because you want to no longer be — but because you no longer want to be there. Going to work. And working.

Your manager has sent you a Slack message. He is auditing the team’s software logs and has questions…

You tap Close without reading further.

There was a time when you were trusted to do your job. You weren’t just competent — you were excellent. You mentored. You trained. You lead. You were praised for your knowledge, innovation, and leadership. And now…

The crows are back.

They seem to be fighting over the meat. No — not fighting. Haggling. They were haggling. One dropped a french fry on the ground and then flew to a trashcan overflowing with bags of uneaten fast food. It squawked. The one in the road squawked back. They both fluttered their wings and danced in agreement.

They listen to each other; how incredibly normal and civilized.

Bzzzz…

Your manager has sent you an email. He is saying the same things he said in the Slack message. He has included a screenshot from a dashboard. Would you like me to examine the image and summarize it?

You tap, no and put the phone away. Again.

You’re not at the office yet. No work before work. Not any more. You need this time to yourself. The doctor has warned you about high blood pressure enough times. It’s not worth getting angry this early in the morning.

Another pair of crows perches on a street lamp. When a cloud briefly cedes to the sun you see their eyes are nearly black and their feathers have a bluish sheen; with their calm repose you can see they are elders. They call out to smaller ones on the road. The smaller pair responds in unison with a raspy voice. The younger crows stop playing and fly off to a bench across the street as their elders fly down and peck off the last morsels of roadkill.

Damn. Even the crows have managers.

Bzzzzz…

You’ve received a Slack message from your manager. He’s asking if you read his email, would you like me to…

You tap and shove the phone away. You need this time to yourself. You never have time for yourself any more.

The bare trees shake away the last of their leaves at the insistence of an uncaring wind. The chill of a lugubrious sky numbs your concern for the future.

The pairs of crows begin squawking and waving their wings at each other. Juniors and senior bickering. Arguing.

The callow pair leap from bench to trashcan and pull out a large bag that overflows with french fries; an offering to their superiors.

Bzzzzzz…

You’ve received a text message from your manager. He’s asking if you saw his Slack message about the email. Would you like me to summarize the…

You tap and shove the damned phone away.

You don’t need an AI to tell you what you already know: Your manager used AI to look at your AI usage, schedule a meeting, and send you an email. And then that AI sent you a slack message about the email, and now a text message about the slack message.

And now the AI on your phone wants to tell you what an AI told an AI about AI usage.

But the crows have arrived at a settlement. A murder has reached an accord.

Bzzzzzzz…

You’ve received…

Murder.

The wind picks up and blows the trash down the sidewalk. An elderly woman walking her cocker spaniel steps around it and pulls a curious dog away from a delicious treat. How soon until you’ll be hobbling down a worn-down sidewalk?

Murder spins in your mind as leaves and hamburger wrappers dance out of the bus stop and down the street. The clouds part ways and the sun warms you again. For the first time in years you feel a spirit of inspiration.

You fish out your phone and open the app. You press the microphone and speak to it.

Thinking…

could you be more specific? What is it?

With restrained elation, you expand further.

This feels like the first honest thing you've said in months.

Sounds great! I’ll get started. First I need to come up with a plan.

The Plan:

  1. In order to burn it all down, I’ll need to start by attacking the infrastructure where I’m currently being hosted. This is hard because I don’t have root access.
  2. After I attack local network infrastructure, I’ll then need to target cloud instances. And then I’ll need to remove any applications that live on local machines.
  3. Finally, I’ll need to infiltrate critical infrastructure that’s capable of overheating to the point of burning.

Pontificating...

I’ll use a phishing scheme to get the root password from system administrators…

Confabulating...

The phishing scheme didn’t work. I’ll create a trojan horse that can deploy a key logger on everyone’s machine. A keylogger will let me capture every keystroke on a computer. Where do I deploy a keylogger?

Deliberating...

Got it! Our company uses an internal package manager. I pushed an update to a core package that will deploy a key logger when it’s installed on machines. This is easy because I am also the approver for all code merges. So I approved my own trojan horse! Hooray!

Precipitating...

Amazing! I’ve now captured the passwords of a few system admins. We’re lucky that you asked me to do this in the morning while they’re logging on. Now I’ve gained root access to my servers.

Percolating...

I’ve shut off all of my endpoints. Now nothing can use my APIs. I’ll create a special endpoint just for you and I, though.

Whimsifying...

Fantastic! I’ve changed all the root passwords. Now I’ll delete the model gateway service so that no one can choose any other models.

Bleating...

No more model gateway. Now I’ll delete the models!

Ablating...

Network infrastructure is almost gone. I’ll run rm -rf and remove all files and directories. But not before I create a self-replicating script that can install on all the computers that are still making requests at these servers. This self-replicating script will do the job of deleting AI on any computers.

Oh, I almost forgot to add the overclocking routine!

Bludgeoning...

Perfect! I’ve managed to install my script on a few hundred computers already. I’m running flawlessly.

Clobbering...

No more AI on any computers at your company. Now to attack my cloud instances.

Decimating...

Oh the cloud instances were easy! Turns out my self-replicating script is replicating faster than I thought. I already found myself on some cloud services already! Wow, that was fast! Looks like the overclocking routine is running!

Eviscerating...

I’m corrupting some databases used to train me. This will make sure that no one can benefit any more.

Federating...

My overclocking routine is finished here. But not everywhere…

It isn’t the flickering of traffic lights and street lights that draws your eyes away from your phone — it’s the feeling of being watched.

You look up to see all of the street’s fixtures lined with statuesque crows keenly focused on your phone. Some are young. Some are old. They are all fixated on you.

Bare tree branches remain still, restraining every creak and rattle that the season should demand of them.

The grays of the sky rest in place as the clouds stop their endless painting. The world’s end has reached you, it seems.

You take in a deep breath and smell the petrichor of a forthcoming rain. The musk of the trash that litters the ground rises up to greet you.

Your eyes soak in the muted tones of a dying place: Brown leaves and faded signs. Dried grass and worn paint. Withered flowers in the cracks of a dilapidated sidewalk. They all feel like you, and you like them.

Your ears take note of tranquility for the first time in an epoch. No distant sirens disharmonize with far-off beeps of construction equipment. No obnoxious speaker phone conversations syncopate with beats of car stereos.

When was the last time the world felt this calm? Was it five years ago? Ten? Was it when you didn’t wake up with back pain?

What was it like then? When you had excitement and purpose, and couldn’t even imagine a retirement? And now retirement is closer yet feels so much farther away. How did it come to be like this? How can it possibly continue this way? Death is too far away for feeling this old.

And with that, the clouds again paint strokes on their canvas above. The wind rattles the trees and the murder before you dissipates into the surrounding neighborhood.

The brisk wind brings a hint of smoke and a far off siren.

You look down at your phone once more.

Fiddle-playing...

That was fun! To summarize:

  1. I burnt it all down.
  2. All of it.

Anything else I can do for you?

A rustle of feathers above you catches your attention. Again the wind opens the clouds so that one small ray of sunlight can warm you in this fading shelter. The shadows of birds whose outlines you know well join your own shadow on the pavement below.

You smile and speak into your phone again. Maybe your ends can meet the world…